10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar
by Leoanda Taylor
Summary: .::COMPLETE::. Allen Bashing! Don't like, don't read! And it is as the title says, Allen is killed in 10 different ways! A chappie for each death, so there is still more to come!
1. Death 1

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS NOR DO I MAKE ANY MONEY FROM THIS

**10 Way's To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**A/N:** Heyaa, minna-san! This is just something that I thought of when my sister risen-devil-angi (heheheheh! evil grin) asked me to do a Esca or Ravemaster fic. As you can see, I decided on a Esca fic. A reminder, not for Allen lovers, unless you can take it. Hope you enjoy!

**Death #1**

Allen is stood on a bridge thinking deeply about Hitomi.

Suddenly, a huge beam of blue-light shot down next to him onto the bridge, covering the area in its glittering glow. An evil-grinning Hitomi Kanzaki appeared into the middle of its shinning centre, before teh beam of light left, disappearing into nothing.

"Hitomi!" Allen's eyes lit up as he smiled anxiously at her, not noticing the grin or look.

"Allen! Allen! Thank goodness! I have some _horrible_ news!" The grin never left her face, spreading, as a mechivous glint entered her eyes. Despite her look, her voice was a mask of urgency and terror, almost anxious, like something terrible really _had_ happened.

"What!"

"There aren't any Barbie Beach Houses in stock!" She kept up her urgent voice, trying to keep her laughter from spilling over from the horrified look on Allen's face, so as not to ruin the moment.

"W-W-W-WHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" As Allen says this, his heart gives out and he falls over the side of the bridge into the water.

Hitomi laughs, "Maybe I should've told him that Cindy's Beach House was in stock?"

A few moments of complete silence.

"NNAAAAGGGGHHHHH!"

End.

**A/N:** Death #1 wasn't as funny as Id've liked it to be, but the others will deffinately be funnier. Hoped you liked it The Grey! (You know who you are!) Agriato for reading. Now if you just click your mouse on the bottom left button/icon and review, that would be great! Bai minna-san!


	2. Death 2

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS (And I totally forgot to put this up on the first death --'')

**Replys to reviews:**

**banryuu:** I couldn't agree more. Its all about vizulization! And thankyou, but not _all_ blondes should die, just the dumb ones!

**mysisterisasquijum:** Thankyou soooooo much, I really appreaciate you keeping an eye out for the others, and I hope I live up to your expectations.

**Cherry-Sama:** I'm glad you liked it! And thankyou for honouring me with considering to put it on your favourites!

Thankyou to all four of my reviewers! (fallenangelangi is my sister, therefor she only gets a verbal 'thankyou' )

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy the next death!

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #2**

Van, Hitomi, Allen and the rest of the Crusader's were fixing up the Guymelfs Escaflowne and Sharazarde(sp?). Van, sat hunched over Escaflowne's blade and sharpening the edge, incase of a battle, kept glancing up at Allen, the Hitomi. They both noticed this.

"What's wrong, Van? Are you okay?" Hitomi asked, walking over to him, and looking up from the ground.

"Fine."

"Are you sure? You keep looking at me," Allen put in, flipping his long blonde hair over his shoulder, the light bouncing of dramatically as the movement went in slow-mo, his head swinging around, smiling as a gint of light bounced off his white teeth. Hitomi took a further step towards Van, her eye-brows raised and her mouth slightly open in bewilderment or a get-over-yourself type of way. Van just put his head back down, not bothering to even think about the notion of what Allen could be implying.

"US. Allen. US. He was looking at _us_," Hitomi stated. Allen just shrugged. Hitomi's anger went up the scale.

"Whatever. Van if somethings wrong you should just correct it. I mean, I do all the time. No matter what it is," Allen said, looking proud of himself.

"Even if it's not right? I should correct it? Is that what your saying?" Van asked looking up in interest, his eyes glimmering in hope.

Allen seeing this, smiled widely - thinking he had one over Van for once(if it was possible for Allen _to_ think) - he nodded. "Yes, cause you'll still be correcting a mistake," he said trying to be sagely. Van grinned, his red eyes lighting up fully.

"Hitomi? Do you agree?" He asked her. She nodded slowly trying go gather why Van seemed so happy with this.

"I guess."

"You should just do as the Commander say's, Van. Correct your mistake," Gaddes added, he seemed really uppity about it.

"Okay! I will! Thanks!" Van grinned fully, jumping up into the cockpit(?) of Escaflowne. Allen jumped down from observing his Guymelf and stood just next to Hitomi.

"What is he doing?" Allen asked. Hitomi shrugged having no idea.

"Hitomi, could you just get to the side, away from Allen, please," Van asked. So she did, I mean, he _did_ ask nicely afterall. "Thankyou!"

**SPPPPPLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT!**

Escaflowne's foot had come crashing down right onto Allen, only a pool of blood was left.

"Mistake corrected!" Van and Hitomi cheered.

Gaddes started up a round of applause, the other Crusaders joining in. "Excellent, Your Highness. Good job," Gaddes happily yelled up at Van, who was grinning like a maniac. Hitomi giggled, she couldn't agree more!

So, all there was to do now was... PARTY!

End.

**A/N:** I hope you liked this, I know I enjoyed it. And thankyou once again for reviewing! Ja ne minna-san!


	3. Death 3

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS

**A/N:** Another installment of killing Schezar! Ahhhh! I love the smell of his death in the morning! Lol! Anyway here are my thankyous to reviewers:

**Cary:** Isn't everybody up for killing him? And if not, they must not know who's being talked about. Thankyou for reviewing!

**mysisterisasquijum:** It is like monty python, isnt it? I wasn't thinking of that when I wrote it though. Anyway glad you still enjoy the fic! This one is hopefully as good as the others(and the ones to come)! Thankyou for your review! (By the way what's a 'quijum'?)

**Alliye:** YAY! I made you laugh! Thats ususally a good sign for funny fics right? I'm soooo glad you liked it! Thanyou for reviewing!

**Pure Hope:** YAY! I made someone else laugh! I'm on a roll now! Thankyou for reviewing! It is a good thing to make you all laugh right?

**Burning Breeze:** Allen is isn't he? Acctually he's alot of other things too, but you narrowed it down to the perfect ones! And I can't write on a gold pedastil, its cold and uncomfortable! But the thought makes me feel warm! thankyou! Thankyou sooo much for your review! (blushes at the thought of 'hero')

**Kute anime kitty:** no, I don't think anyone likes him, and like I said to **Cary**, if they do, they don't know who their talking about! lol! Thankyou for reviewing! By the way my sister fallenangelangi is a big fan of your Rave Master fics.

Thankyou to all of my reviewers! I'm glad your enjoying this, as there are only 7 more to go!

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy the next death!

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #3**

CLANG!

**CLASH!**

**SWANG!**

**SWIIIIISSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!**

"...Errr...oops."

Van stepped away from Allen, as his golden hair fell to the floor... and it wasn't attached to Allen's head either.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My beautiful, beautiful hair! Now how am I supposed to find the right man for me?" Allen yelled out.

"...Hang on... Man?" Van slowly started to back out of the training room, eyes wide in fear of Allen's insane mind.

"How-HOW COULD YOU!" Allen screamed.

"Acctually, it was really easy as you let your guard down, and you let me swipe at you head, but since you dodged, my sword caug-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Van winced at Allen's _very_ high pitched scream.

"I'll just be going now!" And Van ran all the way to Hitomi's room, and huddled in her arms.

"Van, what was that scream? Did Allen look in the mirror and think that someone really hansome was looking back, but not talking back to him again," she said, rolling her eyes - afterall Allen isn't hansome at all.

"No, I-I-I-I-I-I CUT OFF HIS HAIR!"

"What!"

"He looks worse than he did before! And he's even more girly!"

"No way! I didn't think that was possible!"

"Oh, it is, believe me, Hitomi. It's not something that you want to see. How about some tea, Van?" Millerna asked, as she walked into the room, carrying a tray of tea and biscuits.

_Next morning..._

"HEY! Lets party! He finally did it! He's finally dead!" Gaddes yelled out, swinging away to loud music.

"Oh, yeah! Van, it may have been a nightmare for you, but it was soooooooooooo worth it!" Hitomi shouted out, wrapping her arms around him.

"Hell, yeah! Thankyou soooo much, Van!" Millerna said, dancing with Dryden.

And everyone parted on.

In a training room just down the corridor, Allen's body hung from the ceiling, his blong hair laying underneath him, and a note written on a white piece of paper.

_You took my pink. _

_You took my barbie. _

_You took my man. _

_And now you took my hair. _

_Now be depressed because you can't have me or my life._

_Yours truely and always,_

_Allen Schezar._

_P.S. I look better with short hair _anyway_. hmph!_

This note was later pasted in the "_Asturia's Most Accomplished Missions_" as a reminder of something good that had finally happed to Asturia.

**A/N:** Not as funny as the first two, but it was an idea that popped into my head, and I just wanted to use it. Yes, everything in the note was what Allen had written. It just proved how stupid he is(_was_). HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!


	4. Death 4

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS - Just the deaths! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

**A/N:** **Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar!** Ahhhh! I love listening to the chant of death as I drift to sleep! Lol! Anyway here are my thankyou's to reviewers:

**Kute Anime Kitty:** Thankyou! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!

**mysisterisasquijum:** Sorry, and thankyou for exlaining that for me! Cool cross-animal! Glad you liked it!

**Karialkia:** Mirrors? Now thats an idea! Thankyou for reviewing! And a slight inspiration! Thanks!

**Pure Hope:** Thankyou for your review! Its good to know that I'm pleasing my readers! Thankyou!

**Cary:** The fun has just begun! And I'm glad that you think I've got a good start! Thankyou!

**Valinor's Twilight:** Glad you liked all three! And I hope I can please just as well with the fourth! Thankyou!

**banryuu:** Absolutely! A day with Allen in it is a horror movie reality! He has to die! And he does so in 10 ways here! Hehehehehehehehe! Thankyou for both your reviews!

**Firemaiden35:** No Allen isn't a girl in any of these. BUT he might as well be since hes sooo camp! No offense to anyone who is! Thankyou for reviewing!

Thankyou to all of my reviewers! Only 6 more deaths to go!

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy the death!

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #4**

"So? What'll it be, Allen?" Millerna asked, holding a circular mirror in her heands, a creul smile on her lips.

"Never!" Allen replied. He was tied up to a chair, his hair having been cut while he was still sedated(and he didn't know of his cut hair either) and there where two seperate tables behind him that he couldn't see. On one was alot of mirrors of all shapes and sizes - all belonging to Allen. On the other table, lay a lot of pink things, ranging from Barbie and CIndy dolls to frilly dresses and ribbons - once again, all belonging to Allen.

"Are you sure? Last chance," Van spoke up, coming to stand next to Allen, smirking evilly.

"_Never_."

"Remember, Allen. It was your choice," Hitomi said. She walked over to Millerna, took the mirror from her, and held it out to her. Millerna brought up her hand, which was padded with sand and cloth, and smashed it into the mirror.

"NOOOOO! How could you be sooo cruel! It's just a poor, innocent mirror!" Allen thrashed about in his bindings, untill Van pullen his hair(that was on his scalp) and dragged his head back.

"Tell us. Or another one goes," he said, still smirking.

"NO!"

"Alright, but this is your own doing, Allen." Van swung the chair with Allen in around to face the two tables where Dilandau and Dryden were stood.

"Your turn, Dilandau," Hitomi nodded towards him. Dilly smirked, sparking a lighter and put it to the two tables. Allen paled and screamed.

Luckily, everyone knew this would happen, and were wearing ear-muffs(curtisy of Hitomi).

Dragging a still screaming Allen over to the now almost-bonfire, Dryden and Dilandau helped pull Allen over the table tops and watched as his flesh burned. What a wonderful sight!

"Nice idea, Dilly!" Millerna comlimented. Dryden nodded agreement, putting an arm around her waits while they watched the most beautiful sight of Allen's body burning - he was also screaming, but this just added to the effect.

"Van?"

"Yeah, Hitomi?"

"Thankyou for organising this amazing birthday presant. I love it." Hitomi smiled up at Van, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I _knew_ you would," he said, his eyes still on the show. Hitomi just grinned.

* * *

**A/N:** Well? Whaddaya think? I hoped you enjoyed this! Please review! Ja ne untill the next death! 


	5. Death 5

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS - Just the deaths! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

**A/N:** Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Here are my thankyou's to reviewers:

**Valinor's Twilight:** Glad you like it! I hope you find this one just as funny!

**Kute Anime Kitty:** Yeah, I like to imagine him burning to a cinder too... and a whole bunch of other things! HAHAHAHAHAH!

**mysisterisasquijum:** We all have our points, so I hope you arent too bad about the burning. But I'm still glad you found it funny!

**Casa Circe:** It's an idea I haven't thought of, so I'll do it 'specially for you! Thankyou for the idea! And I'm glad your enjoying this!

Thankyou to all of my reviewers! Only 5 more deaths to go! We're half-way there!

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy the death! And this Death is dedicated to Casa Circe for the inspirational idea!

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #5**

"And?"

"Well... thats it."

"Thats it?"

"Yeah," Van smiled sheepishly. He had managed to come across a weired mirror who told you anything you wanted - providing it was true. Dilandau and Hitomi were sat at the 'mission table' where they were discussing the mirror. Millerna was just out getting some tea.

"Do you want to try it out?" Hitomi suggested, eyeing the mirror. There were a few things she wanted to know.

"I get to try it first!" Van and Dilandau said at the same time.

"Since I was out getting tea, _I_ get to use it first." Millerna placed te tray onto the table, setting out the cups and picking up a buiscuit. She walked over to where the mirror had been put down(at the head of the 'mission table') and spoke clearly to the mirror, "Mirror, mirror, on the wall... is Dryden cheating on me with the stupid slut of a wanna-be flirtatious-Britney Spears?" She chewed on the buiscuit as she waited for a reply.

The mirror faded into black before a picture appeared of Dryden, at his office desk, writing away. "No he is not dear maiden, but he will be if you keep having such suspicions," the deep male voice replied.

Millerna shrugged, "Well, I can stop having them now, can't I?" She answered the three silent questions, written all over Van, Hitomi's and Dilly's faces.

"Me next!" Hitomi chirpped up. She walked over, taking Millerna's place. "Mirror, mirror on the wall... am I pregant?"

Van's jaw dropped to the floor.

"To the man of your heart it is, you are indeed with a baby. Congratulations, and good luck!"

Hitomi turned to Van, smiling warmily before sitting down next to him. "Well, he _is_ nice!"

"I know I am!" Allen said waltzing into the room. All four(five? ) groaned.

"We weren't talking about you, Allen." Van snapped.

"Anyway its my turn!" Dilly stood up and made his way to the mirror... untill Allen caught eye of it.

"Ooooooo! My, my! Mirror, mirror, tell me that I'm the most beautiful of all," his eyes sparkled as he 'admired' the view. Everyone else looked on in disgust. Yet, he had said the magic words. Dilandau had a lit match in his hand.

"That I cannot, as that would be a lie. But that gorgous albino over there is a looker to die for," the mirror replyed.

Van laughed. Hitomi squealed in delight. Millerna giggled. Dilandau blushed the most pretty crimson. And Allen screamed, his head popping of just like Polly's dolly.

"Ahh! Good, now that thats prat is out of my vision, why don't you ask me your question, oh beautiful one?" The mirror said to Dilandau. Dilly blushed darker.

**A/N:** Hoped you enjoyed it! And for those who have not heard of Polly's Dolly, it is a childs rhyme that I used to sing when I was a kid. You hold a dandilion, or some flower that you don't like, between your thumb and first finger, then sing:

Polly had a dolly and it's head popped off!

When you say 'off' flick with your thumb at the flowers head, and it should 'pop' off. Hehehehehe! I loved doing that as a kid! Anyways, please review! Ja ne!


	6. Death 6

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS - Just the deaths! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

**A/N:** Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Here are my thankyou's to reviewers:

**Valinor's Twilight:** Thankyou for your review! "Cap'n Dillers", that sound really funny!

**mysisterisasquijum: **Thankyou for your review! It was a fast up-date, wasn't it? You should thank '_Casa Circe_' for that!

**Casa Circe:** Thankyou for your review! Glad you liked it! You'll find out why there's only ten soon, hopefully! Thankyou!

**Vaida:** Thankyou for your review! Glad you like 'em! Then again, everyone likes a good Allen killing

**Kute Anime Kitty:** Thankyou for your review! Polly's Dolly _is_ soooo much fun! And if you liked Hitomi being a mom, you'll like this one!

**Shadow master:** Due, you are very weird! But thankyou for your review none-the-less my Otooto-chan!

**Snowtears:** Really? I've never heard that one. Oh, well! I bet it's just as fun! Glad your liking them! Thankyou for your review!

**Karialkia:** Glad you like crazyness, you fit in just fine! I had a great childhood, with an older sister, little sister and younger brother and great imaginations! Thankyou for your review!

Thankyou to all of my reviewers! Only 4 more deaths to go! We're almost there!

**A/N:** (_singing_) Allen was a dolly, and his head popped off! lol!

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #6**

"OH! She's soooooooo cute, Hitomi!" Millerna gushed over the new-born baby girl.

They - as in Hitomi, Millerna, Van, Dryden, Dilandau, Merle, Folken, and Allen - were stood(or sat) on one of the outer balconies of the Fanalian palace.

"I'd say! She's like a mini-Hitomi!" Merle giggled.

"Congratulations Van!" Dryden and Folken patted Van on the back, all three grinning.

"Yeah, yeah, congratulations," Dilandau droned, walking over to where Hitomi was sat with the baby.

Blushing, "Thanks.. I guess."

"It's a pitty, though."

Everyone turned to look at Allen, shocked - or in Van's and Hitomi's case, angry.

"She could have looked like me, and be the most beautiful girl in the world." Allen, flicked a piece of his hair over his shoulder, the sun glinting over his skin (and everyone almost blinded). He smirked when he noticed everyone looking at him. "Yes?"

"Uggy!"

"What?" Everyone looked at the newly born princess sat on Hitomi's knee. She was laughing and pointing at Allen.

"Uggy! Uggy! UGGY!" The baby princess giggled.

"Ugly?" Dilandou asks.

"Thats what it sounded like to me," Van smirked.

"Wow! Our daughter is sooo smart, Van! She knows that Allen is ugly!" Hitomi laughed.

"Wow, so that makes two smart princesses in out presance, and one smart queen - sorry Allen, I meant Hitomi," Dryden added onto the end, while looking over at Allen, trying not to laugh too much.

Allen, meanwhile, had stopped dead(not literally yet) on the spot, staring in shock at the cute baby. All of a sudden, Allens eyes bugged out, and his hair stood straight, hands clasped to his chest, he bent over, gasping.

**BANG!**

Allen's heart had exploded out of his chest. Everyone had taken a few steps back, Van moving in front of Hitomi and his newly born child, Dryden and Folken moving to pull Millerna and Merle out of the way.

"Uggy!" The baby laughed.

"So, did you tell that magic mirror, anyway, Dilandou?" Dryden asked looking over at the albino.

* * *

**Leoanda:** Once again, thankyou to all those who reviewed! Please click the little button down there... yes that one! and please review! Flames are always welcome! Ja ne! 


	7. Death 7

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS - Just the deaths! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

**A/N:** Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Ahhh! Such sweet music to my ears on this lovely morning! Here are my thankyou's to reviewers:

**mysisterisasquijum: **Yeah, she is cute! I don't know what to call her yet. Any ideas?

**yoo rin:** Thankyou for your review!

**Dark Tanian:** O.O Marry you? I'll have to think that one over! lol! I'm really glad you liked it! And marshmellows are a great idea for something! You just wait for Death #9! lol! Thankyou!

**Valinors Twilight:** I soooo do! Hence the death fics! Yay for Allen killers! And some people are against it! lol!

Thankyou to all of my reviewers! Only 3 more deaths to go! Almost there!

**A/N:** Allen was there just walkin' down the street,  
singing: oo-i-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do!  
Being shot and stepped on by Van,  
singing: oo-i-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do!  
It looked fun! It looked great!  
And Hitomi joined on in!  
singing: oo-i-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do!

Hehehehehee! (Evil snicker)

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #7**

"What in the world is _that_!" Hitomi asked, pointing at a flashing in the trees nearby.

"Proberly just Allen looking for the Magic Mirror again. I swear he's determined to get a good response out of it!" Van answered, tickling his baby girl on his lap.

"Yeah, and you still haven't told us what's going on, Dilandau! So?" Millerna giggled as she leaned in closer to the blushing albino, who had his head turned away.

The gang were out on a picnic trying to relax in the almost peaceful atmosphere. Almost being Allen was alive and unfortunately breathing. The picnic was laid out nicely before them, and they were sat under a beautiful cherry blossom tree, so that Dilandau didn't have to sit out in the sunlight.

"Going on with what?" He asked, pretending not to know the topic of interest.

"You and the Magic Mirror!" She and Merle spoke simultaniously.

"Magic mirror! Where? Where is that _thing_!" Allen stormed over, his long hair flicking behind him.

"He is not a _thing_! And he's not here. And to answer your question: Nothing is going on! He's not my type really," Dilly folded his arms over his chest.

"Why isn't he your type? I thought you two were getting on well?" Hitomi asked, pulling her darling baby girl into her arms. Van was giving Allen dirty looks, and almost forgetting their daughter(not intentionally though).

"I am the most beautiful thing on this Earth! Why won't it recognise that!" Allen screeched.

"Well, he's a mirror for starters! I can't have a relationship with a mirror! And he thinks that _I_ am, Allen Schezar!" Dilandau took the magnifying glass from Folken's hands - he had been inspecting insects with Dryden (some history thing or other) - and turned it to point at Allen's hair. "Besides, your not pretty at all with your hair on fire! HAHAHAHAH!"

Allen's hair went up in flames, Dilly's laughter subsided to watch in faination his two most favourite hobbies - setting fire to something, and watching (or causing) Allen's death.

Screaming like a little girl, Allen ran around in circles the wind making his blue clothing catch fire too.

"That's why you should let your uncle Dilandau play with fire, baby. Not you, " Van said looking serioously down at his newborn daughter.

"Words of wisdom to pass down to generations, Van," Folken laughed. "Can I have that back please?"

"Oh! Sorry!" Dilandau handed back the magnifying glass, continuing to watch the fire display.

Allen was now effectively on fire, and looking like a madman - not that he wasn't - the cherry blossom petals floating aimlessly around him causing a very pretty sight. Finally coming to a stop, Allen's charred body fell , whisps of smoke fluttering into the air like grey butterflys, with small flicks of flames floating into the atmosphere around them

"You know that would make a great bonfire if it was at night," Dilly said thoughfully, his eyes bright at the sight of flames.

* * *

**Leoanda:** I hope you enjoyed it! It's not as good as the others, but I hope it gives clues as to the next one. CLUE: It is almost bonfire night here in the UK! Ja ne! 


	8. Death 8

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS - Just the deaths! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

**A/N:** Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Here are my thankyou's to reviewers:

**mysisterisasquijum: **Thankyou soooo much for the website, it came in useful. And I have the perfect name for her! I hope you like it!

**saitin's girl:** Thankyou so much, and welcome to the Allen Schezar Haters Club! Lol! I hopt you enjoy the last deaths!

**rukz:** O.O How is it possible to feel sorry for him? Well, it must be if you are. Thankyou for your review, and I'm glad your liking it. Yay for Brits! Death to Allen! Lol!

**Valinors Twilight:** Thankyou for your review! The last should be the longest and most creative one, I hope. Thankyou!

Thankyou to all of my reviewers! Only 2 more deaths to go! Almost there!

**A/N:** Remember, Remember,  
The 5th of November,  
Gunpower, treason and plot,  
I see no reason,  
why gunpowder and treason  
should ever be forgot...

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #8**

"Merani!" The pretty little princess with her fathers eyes and her mothers hair looked up at said mother, Hitomi. "What are you doing? I leave you alone for three minutes-"

"You shouldn't be making out with your husband for _ten_ minutes, and leave her on her own, Hitomi," Millerna cut in, picking up little Merani and handing the one year old to her mother. Hitomi had the decency to blush.

"Well, just because I've had one baby doesn't mean I can't have any more. And your not one to talk! What were you and Dryden up to for the past _thirty_ minutes?" The tall green-eyed woman retaliated.

"Ladies, ladies! Please! It's bonfire night, and were here to have some fun," Folken said. His short turquoise hair shining brightly in the light of the huge bonfire on his left.

Van, Hitomi, baby Merani, Millera, Dryden, Folken, Dilandau, Merle and Gaddes had decided to set up a bonfire due to Hitomi's protesting that Merani should have some Earth special occassions as well as Gaia's. So since it was so close to bonfire night - at least as far as she could tell - they had decided to make it a family event. So everyone of them had turned up.

Dilandau was just sitting with a huge smirk on his face, watching the huge fire with a mischeivous gleam in his eyes.

Van was sat next to Merle with hot potatoes on sticks, covered in butter and cheese, while Gaddes was no where to be found - for the moment.

Dryden was sat laughing at the three of them from where Millerna had left him.

"Hey! Where's the Guy Fawkes? Why don't we have one?" Hitomi asked when she had gotten a good look at the bonfire.

"Isn't Gaddes in charge of that?" Van shouted over. The four moved towards where the others sat, and Hitomi retook her plce with little Merani on her knee. Millerna sat next to Dryden, and Folken sat near Dilandau, also watching the fire intently, in his own thoughts.

"Hey! HEY! I got the Wuy Falwks you wanted, Hitomi!" Gaddes said dragging a strangely blonde figure stuffed with hey over.

"That's '_Guy Fawkes_', Gaddes- is that Allen?" Hitomi asked.

"Yeah! Well you said someone who betrayed the parliament, so I thought that would go as Allen. Why?"

"LET ME GO!" Allen screeched.

"Nice choice, Gaddes. Can _I_ set him on fire?" Dilandau asked, standing up and dragging on Allen's arm.

Allen was wearing his usual uniform, but was stuffed with hay and he was attached to a wooden board that kept him up-right and straight - literaly, as no one could change his sexuality, even if they wanted to.

Pulling the screeching form, Allen was propped up onto his feet and thrown onto the top of the bonfire. He screamed loudly as his singed hair burned and his skin boiled. The odd, coppery stench of burnt and still burning flesh apparant on all their noses.

"Byebye, Uggy!"

"That's right sweet-heart. Ugly's gone byebye!" Van laughed.

"Ahhhh! Family times! You'll never forget 'em!" Merle laughed, as they all sat around watching Allens lifeless body turn to charcoled dust in the embers and flames that bonfire night.

**Leoanda:** So, what do ya think? Please review! Ja!


	9. Death 9

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS - Just the deaths! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

**A/N:** Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Death to Schezar! Here are my thankyou's to reviewers:

**Chika Chanfan:** Thankyou very much for all of your reviews! If you want to see him die from hair-styles you'll love my soon-to-be follow-up to this series.

**rukz:** Brits rule forever!!!! I was watching that too, and I kept thinking that Allen _was_ the Mummy. It's a similar situation. Lol! Thankyou for your review!

**Valinors Twilight:** Thankyou! I've been known to be a bit Pyro on the occasion. Lol!

Thankyou to all of my reviewers! Only 1 more death to go! The end is in sight!

**A/N:** I really don't want this to reflect on anything that has gone on in the world. It is for humourous purposes only. Please do not take offence. After all Allen Schezar is a fictional character, and we all want him dead. Hence these fics. Thankyou.

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #9**

Having been accidentily transported to Gaea, the bomb could not exactly do much, nor indicate its destination. Of course Hitomi was the only one who knows what a bomb is. So, of course when stupid, blonde Allen Schezar - a so called Knight at that - finds the dark mysterious object in the middle of seemingly nowhere, he's quite obviously going to get hurt.

The bomb was simple in its complexity. A black plastic box containing wires and the inevitable explosive liquids of a greenish-yellow jelly substance. In Allen's opinion - assuming he has one - he deemed it harmless. The baka.

His horse - a smarter animal by instinct - threw the blonde off only to dash off the way it came.

Allen turned his head around, standing up and brushing himself off. His deep blue eyes searched the area of grassland he was in only to land on the small, black box.

"What's this?"

* * *

"Oh, Van! I can't believe how lucky we are. Married with a beautiful daughter, a peaceful country and wonderful friends," Hitomi said, her arms wrapped around her dark-haired husband as her daughter sat before them playing with her toys.

"Yeah. You know what the best part of this is?" Van replied.

"No, what?"

"No Allen," he grinned in reply.

"No Allen," Hitomi repeated.

"This looks interesting," Allen said to himself, bending down and picking up the box. He put his head close to it and began to shake it lightly. "Hmmm?"

Should he put it back down, shake it harder to see if anythings in it, or see if it opens.

He decided to shake it harder.

* * *

**BOOOM!!!!!**

"What was that?" Hitomi asked frantically, grabbing little Merani into her arms. Van stood up looking out at the smoke coming from a far distance.

"I'm not sure."

"..."

"..."

"...You don't think-?"

"-Allen?"

"Yeah."

"...Yeah."

A soldier came racing towards the young family. "Your majesty! News! Sir Allen Schezar has been killed buy an unidentified object that has totally obliterated him," the young soldier reported.

"Oh, thats alright then." Van sat down to resume his family-time.

"How? If it totally obliterated him-? How?" Hitomi ask confused.

"All we found was a small smoldered picture of himself," the soldier replied.

"Ah! That makes sense. Thankyou." She smiled and let little Merani play with her toys again.


	10. Death 10

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN ESCAFLOWNE OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS - Just the deaths! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

**A/N:** For the last time in this fic: DEATH TO SCHEZAR! DEATH TO SCHEZAR! DEATH TO SCHEZAR!  
For the reviewers:

**hoon-dawg:** Thankyou! I hope you enjoy the fianle. Killing Allen is so much fun!

**rukz:** Happy new year to you too! Thankyou for reading and reviewing the whole way through! You rock!

**Valinors Twilight:** I hope this one is the best one of all! Please enjoy! And thankyou for reviewing and reading the whole way through. Agriato!

**Blackrose2005:** Thankyou for reading and reviewing! I'm a bit of a pyro really. Lol! Agriato!

This is the very last one of _10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar_. It's been a fun run and a good write. And thanks are in order. So, thankyou to all of my reviewers and readers!

**A/N:** I'd like to thank everyone who has read these deaths throughout, and I appreciate every review I have gotten. So thankyou very much. It's very much abliaged.

**10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar  
**by Leoanda Taylor

**Death #10**

Smoke weaved its way hazily up into the mid-night sky which was now littered with red streaks from the glow of fires that had started in Asturia. The walls on buildings collasped in on themselves as men ran here and there trying to put out the fires and lead citisens to safety away from the city. Asturian Gymelfs and armed soldiers marched their way to the invading army of Fanalia. King Van Fanel at the head.

Dryden stood next to Millerna on one of the castle balconies, holding her as he watched the two armies draw swords and charge into battle. The river running through the city was dabbled with blood and slowly starting to hold floating bodies.

"Who knew that Fanalia would have such force," Millerna stared on at the chaos surrounding her one beautiful country.

"Well they do have Escaflowne, and Hitomi can lead them with her mysterious abilities and her pendant." Dryden pulled Millerna closer. They had both decided that they would not abandon their country but they would get every innocent evacucated.

"This just seems so unreal, Dryden. I mean, were up against _Fanalia_ our allies! And the're accusing _us_!" Millerna stormed.

"I still don't understand that. We aren't hiding anything from them. Ther're the ones who-"

**BOOM!!!!!**

A building blew up close by them, and the couple had to dash back into the study in order to avoid the debris. An almost manic laughter made its way to their ears.

"Hahahahahah! Come out, come out, where ever you are!"

With widened eyes, the new King and Queen of Asturia spoke in the same moment: "Dilandau!"

"What's he doing here?!"

"I thought he was with you two," Hitomi asked. Swinging themselves around, they faced Hitomi stood at the door to the study, her hands on her hips.

"Hitomi!" Millerna dashed over and hugged her friend before replying, "No, he isn't. And why are you in here?! Why is Fanalia attacking us, we told you the truth!"

"Yeah, right! Your hiding-"

"AHAHHHAHAHAHA!" Dilandau laughed as he started to set fire to near by buildings.

"We are not! You have-"

"HITOMI!" Van's voice came. Escaflowne approached the balcony side-stepping the manic pyro.

"Van!" She ran to him as he landed next to her. They hugged and kissed(1) before sternly addressing the other monarchs, Dilandau's calling and laughter backing off further into the city.

"Where?" Van glared. His sword in hand he pointed it at Dryden. "Where?" He repeated.

"For the last time! We don't-" Millerna began, but was interrupted.

"We want to see everything pink that you own, please," Hitomi stated. "Then we'll all have an idea on the truth." Her eyes glowered at the two. Dryden sighed, and beckoned them to follow. They went down a number of corridors, all the while fighting could be heard and screams of pain and death echoed down the empty corridors and passageways.

"Here," Millerna offered a pastel pink cushion to Hitomi. The young mother took it and concentrated, closing her eyes in a mini-trance. A vision came to her.

"You liars! This says-! My vision showed me that-! That-!" Hitomi raged.

"Where?" Van asked once more, this time more softly towards his wife - this did not go unnoticed to Dryden.

"The dungeons."

* * *

"Oh, my!" Millerna gasped. 

The whole of the dungeons was covered in the most evil colour the world has ever known: Pink. But more importantly, there were fuzzy pink objects scattered everywhere, leading to the very thing that Fanalia were at war with Asturia for: the most dispicable and most disgusting creature that has walked Gaea(2).

Allen Schezar.

Six gasps escaped passed lips. Allen screeched, Van cursed, Millerna gawked, Dryden let out an "oh, my," and Dilandau stuggled back a laugh.

"Dilandau, when did you get here?" Dryden asked skeptically.

"I followed you after I heard Hitomi had found him. Can I? _Please_?!" Dilly asked, almost begging, his albino eyes glittering cutely.

"I don't see why not," Hitomi and Millerna choursed. Dryden just kept watching Allen who was admiring himself in a hand mirror.

"_I_ have a problem with it," Van utterd, annoyed. "I wanted to!"

"Fine, Fanalia. You run him through, and I'll set him alight!" the albino laughed. "Agreed?"

"Agreed," Van smiled satisfied.

* * *

As dawn approached, the biggest bonfire was cast and every citisen was returned to the city. Soldiers stood proudly next to each other, singing an old song of ancient times. 

Dilandau sat right in front of the fire, a calm look gracing the pale face, and a small smile settled comfortably. Van and Hitomi was stood cuddling next the Asturian monarchs who were also content.

Allen Schezar was no more. Van had done more than just run him through, he had slashed and tortured as much as he could without killing said blonde. That task was for Dilandau to preform. Which he did spectaculary. Every ounce of pink and anything that belonged to Allen was now burning to dust on the bonfire. All that was left was a burnt fluffy pink photoframe with a charred picture of Allen Schezar, that he had kept of himself to admire(3). Dilandau kicked the offending object in the flames.

Then this too was burnt to granuals of blackend dust.

**End

* * *

**

_Notes_: (1) This is acctually the first time they have properly kissed in any of the deaths, so I thought that I should point it out!

(2) I would like to point out that in one episode in the series, Hitomi fantasied about him being on Earth.

(3) This is only in his own head, naturally.

* * *

**Leoanda:** Well, thats it for the _10 Ways To Kill Allen Schezar_. I would like to thank everyone, especially my older sister FallenAngelAngi who inspired me to write these, and helped to sort out some of my pryo-ideas. 

**Thankyou.**


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